1. Self check out lanes at grocery stores- they NEVER work quite right. I DID fucking bag it. It IS a fucking cucumber. And yes, I did buy two 8 oz. or more Folger coffees. I only went there in the first place because all the other lanes were full with two carters or those nascar mucus carts. And I still have to wait because I chose to purchase alcohol and god forbid you get my cigarettes right on the first try. WHY even have self check outs if you have to have an army of personnel correcting the multitude of shortfalls?
2. Paying at the pump at gas stations. I am perpetually in a hurry. I do not want to enter my zip code, loyalty card, social security number, and my firstborn’s middle name! And no I don’t want a fucking car wash– I JUST WANT GAS!!
3. The word “pop” used in conjunction with anything interior design-related.
4. Public bathrooms. And anything that is motion sensored inside of them.
5. Flatulence. And the word fart.
6. Toothpaste stuck to the sink.
7. The stick figure families people put on the back of their cars. You know the ones; the mom, the dad, the kids, and the dog. I bought five for my husband this year for Christmas and all five of those stick figures were sticking up their middle fingers.
8. Always, always being late.
thefbombmom 
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