thefbombmom

1. Lists!!! I write lists everywhere on everything about anything. Very often an item on my list is to combine all my lists.

2. Birth control. And the fact that mine lasts for five years and I do not have to endure the monthly issues other women dread.

3. Acronyms. I use them often. Sometimes to remember things; more often when I’m being mean.

4. Guessing what time it is when I have not looked at a clock for a while. Making a wish when it is 11:11 or 12:12 or so on.

5. Manila folders. My filing cabinet is organized. I have folders that are titled, “Shit I don’t know where to file”, “Shit I don’t want to fuck with yet”, and “Shit I’m really mad about paying”. Then I have the standard “Shit to save”, “Important shit”, and “What the fuck is this?” Really.

6. Laying in the pool with a beer in my hand and a lawnmower in the background.

7. Best birthday present ever? An Iphone case with a beer opener on the back. And it’s PURPLE.

8. When my husband wears his fire retardant hat. It’s a toboggan or a beanie or whatever the hell you call it. I have asked him several times to leave it on when we have sex. He will not.

9. Toothpaste with flip top caps. Life changing.

10. Q-tips.